Inspiration + Motivation = Perspiration

Inspiration plus motivation equals perspiration.  That’s as close as my brain gets to a scientific fact some days.  We all have those days, don’t we?  When even coffee the consistency of sludge can’t shove our gears into place, let alone get the whole machine running.  When we run on autopilot and are forced to continually jumpstart our overworked brains just to make it through the first hour…and the second….and the other twenty-two…So.  How do we enter into any sort of training when dragging our feet Igor-style seems to be a much better solution?  For me, I try to remember all the reasons I’m motivated.  Kids.  Waistline.  Health.  Events.  But some days, they just don’t cut it.  I can recite my motivations backwards and forwards, but when I do that they tend to lose their electrical current.  I need fresh and new to get me moving.  So, I get cheesey – and I look for slogans.

They are all over the place! Pinterest and Facebook are my favorite places to hunt them down, but I am sure there are plenty of slogan gamelands.  The less forgiving they are, the more I like ’em.  The more they resemble something Louis Gossett Jr. would shout in Richard Gere’s face, the better!  On days like that, I need more than rote motivators.  I need someone kicking my ass into motion and screaming at me to keep it there.  Now, we all know that I am a stay-at-home mom whose biggest challenges tend to revolve around poop, be it baby or canine…but I like to imagine that if need be, I  could be more Sarah Connor circa Terminator 2 than June Cleaver circa anytime.  So in-your-face slogans usually work for me.  When I read them, I read them the way they’re usually printed: IN ALL CAPS.  In my face and screaming at me, possibly adding “YOU MAGGOT!” at the end for good measure.  Today started as one of those days…with me shuffling about in my pj’s, sipping Ginko tea to make me smarter while I recited Llama Llama Red Pajama as Jack flipped the pages.  Then, because I knew I had to do something, I plopped myself down in front of the computer and made my brain yell at me in cruel and disparaging ways.  I inspired myself all the way through an hour and a half of Shaun T and his deliciously amazing abs.  BOOYAH!

Which brings me to another inspirational startup I rely on – images of fit people.  I especially enjoy the transformation photos, when people not only get lean but incredibly tan and happy.  I’m thinking that before I post my “after” photos at the end of this month, I may need to get a good spray tan and whiten my teeth to make the contrast even more inspirational. (I wonder if I can convince Hubby that transformations such as mine also make oneself far more stylish…?)
 But you know what’s even better than a total stranger’s before-and-afters?  INFOMERCIALS! I can wake up to an informercial for a progam I already own and get completely ramped up about it all over again.  And then have trouble falling back to sleep because I quite literally can’t wait to do the workout.  It happens pretty frequently – woken up by Hubby’s deep gutteral snores and there’s Chalene or Tony or Shaun T hawking their lifechanging programs.  Not only do they show me the B&A’s, they show me clips of fabulous looking people actually doing the workouts!  It’s like my new porn…gets my blood pumping and I’m tossing and turning waiting for a more appropriate time to turn on the tv and crank up the volume to TurboFire.  I’m sure somewhere there’s a support group for junkies like me…but I bet it’s got a finish line and nutritional supplements instead of a circle of chairs and free donuts…

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