Yesterday, the heavens parted and a special kind of golden light shone upon my back porch. For there, in what to all others appeared an ordinary shipping box, sat my long-awaited Insanity DVD’s. Listen…do you hear them? The angels are singing a celebratory workout hymn.
Today, they shut up. They couldn’t speak either.
Because, holy motherf*#kin’ SHIT. (That’s me talking now, not the angels.) That was the most incredibly difficult 45 minutes of my Fit Life. I mean, even harder than when I worked out live with Shaun T in Bangor. (No seriously, dude came to Bangor. How crazy is that?) The warmup was tougher than any Cardio X in its entirety. So, yeah. I’d say I’m gonna get my money’s worth.
I am drenched. That is typical of any workout, as I tend to shine with effervescence after a simple stroll to the fridge. (I have been informed this indicates a fitter Queen overall; my body is just awesomely efficient at cooling itself due to its recent upgrades in exercise. I am so fit, in fact, that even my dogs wrinkle their noses if I get too close post-workout. And Otis regularly sniffs his own farts with pleasure.) I am also energetically EXHAUSTED. By which I mean, I could not eke out a single extra burpee or pushup, but I still feel charged and AMAZING. Make that AMAZING. That was hard. But I DID IT. So, uh…boo to the YAH, my friends.
I am tremendously excited to discover just how much more efficiently I will be cooling myself when the 60 days is up. My guess is, a single breath and I’ll need a new shirt. But I’m also guessing I’ll be able to stop a bus with my abs.
So I guess the only REAL question is…WHO’S WITH ME??? I mean, I will go it alone if I must…but then you’d all just be jealous of my relationship with Shaun T and your inferior body cooling system. There’s a challenge group starting in just two weeks…I highly suggest you all go crazy and sign up.