Off The Rack

(Notice: As you read today’s post, do one pushup for every nickname used in place of the word “breast.”  Why not work the chest while we talk about it?  Fun times!)

Cheap rack, but it’s mine.

It’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Do you know where your boobies are?

It’s rhetorical.  Stop grabbing yourself.  People are staring.

Or maybe you should keep grabbing.  As in, do your self exam!  You know we’re all supposed to get friendly with our chest cushions once a month.  I have to admit, I kinda rely on Hubby to notice any anomalies…but today I vow to get refamiliarized with the gals and keep closer tabs as we grow old together.  I declare today SweatItOut Feel Yourself Up Day.  I’m counting on YOU to make this day a success.  Don’t have your own bags o’ fun?  Show your enthusiasm by offering free exams to the special women in your life!

If we’re dedicated enough to SweatItOut and eat healthfully, we ought to be concerned enough to keep tabs on the twins. That means monthly self exams, yearly gyno exams, and mammograms.  Massage, squish, rub, and squeeze away, ladies.  Your health depends on it.  All that sweatin’ and eatin’ helps to reduce your chances of ever finding anything – but it doesn’t eradicate it completely.

And for fitness’ sake, if you are still lighting up…just don’t.  Recent studies have shown that there is, in fact, a link between cigarette smoking and breast cancer.  It’s just one more reason to break up with Phillip Morris.  Any guy that shows that little disregard for your hooters doesn’t deserve your time and money.  Plus, the smoke gives you wrinkles and thins your skin, making for highly unattractive decollatage.  Keep those melons healthy and pretty, please.

(For more info go to

So let’s say your lady lumps are still high and mighty.  If you’re still in the pink, why not put your best boob forward for those sisters that are not?  There are events out the hoo-ha (no pushup necessary for that one; totally different region) not just this month, but all year long.  For instance, the M&M Clan does the Komen 5k in Philly every Mother’s Day.  You can get all pinked out and find a race to save the ta-ta’s right here:

(I count ten pushups…but let’s double it for a solid twenty.  Good things come in pairs.)



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