I have to admit, I feel a little lost.
I am not “in training” for any events. Sure, I’ve some 5k’s comin’ up, but they’re just fun runs with the fam and friends. Not serious nitty gritty personal bests to be accomplished.
I love my challenge group. I do. I love shakin’ my hips and liftin’ heavy and gettin’ bendy. But…I need MORE.
So now I’m researching martial arts. I’m lookin’ into different forms, different locations, places that will take me and the kids.
I’m focusing on getting my personal trainer and group instructor certifications, possibly getting a nutrition cert as well. Pondering which classes to learn and teach.
Because I can’t just sit here and be stagnant. Where are the bragging rights in that? How will I know when I’ve hit another level if I don’t give myself more levels to reach? See, I do love workin’ out just for its own sake. I love the sweat, the endorphins (I’m addicted to the endorphins), the boost of energy, the knowledge that, once again, I did it. But I love fitness with a purpose even more.
I also need to get my runnin’ ass outdoors. Feel a little late fall sunshine on my cheeks and November’s chill on my legs. I gotta reclaim my weekend runs, twisting and turning through the Water Gap far away from to-do lists, bickering siblings, and the dryer buzzer. My overcluttered head clears and organizes itself during those miles away and I return fresh and with new insights. And that feeling will last at least an hour, maybe two. If the kids are at a sleepover, I might even retain it for an entire day. I may even become…productive.
What I crave are deadlines. Otherwise goals are just random dreams, floating about and leaving me feeling cloudy and vaguely interested, but never invested. Gimme a good solid deadline any day. I like that vision of the brick wall approaching, demanding and stern. Because when I finally get there, I typically hurdle that bitch and keep running full force to the next challenge.
It’s just how I roll.