Just Say No

The average person will gain ten pounds this holiday season.

Thurp.  (That’s the sound I make when I throw up in my mouth a little bit.)

Because the thought of ten extra pounds of pure fat makes me ill.  Do you know what ten extra pounds of fat looks like?  Like two of these:


I have been sweatin’ and clean eatin’ all year long to get rid of excess fat and build more lean muscle.  I did not do it in preparation for three weeks of shoveling cookies, pies, and eggnog down my gullet.  So while I may partake in teeny tiny treats here and there and find myself with a few extra unscheduled rest days (because let’s face it, December is always a busy f*#!in’ month no matter how ya swing it), I downright refuse to just say “to hell with it!” and watch all my hardearned muscles get buried under red and green baked goods.  Because, well…that’s just dumb.

Do you ever make your bed and then immediately rip all the covers back off?  Pull your nice clean laundry out of the dryer and toss it into a mud pile?  Do you ever finish a big project at work and quickly run the paperwork through a shredder?

So WHY, in the name of all that is fit and holy, would you throw away those precious hours of training and those carefully planned meals on three little weeks?  Because you know what happens after your sugary freeforall?

You’re gonna curl up into a sweats-wearing ball, avoiding my knowing stare, and feel sorry for yourself.  You will berate yourself and bemoan your former dedicated self, wondering where she/he went for the holidays – because she/he certainly was not there with you when the pie plate got passed your way.

Want my advice?

Don’t do it.

Remember those new jeans you bought because the old ones got too big?  Or how you ran your usual route so much faster than you did before?  What about when someone saw you and asked, “Have you lost weight?”

Swap your usual cookie recipes for Paleo ones.  Load your plate at the veggie and fruit trays.  Better yet – eat before you set foot out your front door.  Set the wallpaper on your phone with a motivational pic (my current wallpaper? Kate Hudson’s abs).  You want more?  Message me when temptation is near.  I will virtually kick your ass back into healthy mode.  And possibly call you a maggot, wimp, or some variation thereof just to scare you straight.

Bottom line?

Go easy on the holiday fare.  Stick to your workout routine.  When in doubt – SweatItOut.




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