For the past week or so, I have been taunted. Teased. Seduced, even.
There’s this cookie at the cash register at Penn Jersey, packaged in a clear plastic wrap. It’s labeled a “chocolate drop cookie,” but I know this particular temptress as a Chinese Cookie from my days as a teenage bakery clerk. I’m pretty certain this gas station knockoff isn’t nearly as delectable as the Chinese Cookies of my past. Did this change my desire? Lessen my yearning?
But I’ve left this sugar-laden Jezebel snug in her cardboard box. Not a finger was laid upon her crinkly wrapping.
I’ve felt pretty smug in my resistance all week. I stuck to Paleo, did my workouts, challenged others to do the same. I was riding quite a high horse, my friends, and wasn’t nothin’ gonna shake my saddle.
Yesterday I took three munchkins to Target, Christmas gift cards in hand. I felt quite justified ordering a skinny Peppermint Mocha Latte. Nothing too crazy, but enough to feel like a daring little treat (here is where the saddle begins to slip). The kids feasted on popcorn and hot dogs. I eyed the baked goods at Starbucks as I sipped my warm drink…but I did not partake, delicious though they looked. We laughed, we relaxed, we enjoyed one another’s company amidst new toys and a rare moment of nothing else to do.
(We are still in the throes of wrestling season, practicing anywhere from four to six days a week, matches on Sundays. Free time is not a phrase we’re familiar with.)
When the time came to gather our bags and head home, everyone was in high spirits and ready for wrestling practice later that evening. We loaded the van and left the lot. Five minutes later, all three kids were, to use the poetic phrasing of Smokey from the movie Friday, “knocked the f*#k out.” I made an executive decision that no practice would be had. As a unit, we were beat. We needed an entire night of nothing to do.
So by now you’re wondering, “What the f*#k does this have to do with that gas station cookie?” Relax. No need to curse. I’m getting to that. Because I not only lost my saddle, my entire high horse went missing.
We ordered pizza. Bacon and pepperoni.
Meanwhile, my challenge groups were blowing up with tales of Oreos, milk, and soda. Of all the conspiracy theories spinning through the Facebook realm lately, I think mine is the real true fact: Nabisco put out some kind of freaky subliminal advertising to make everyone eat Oreos yesterday. I fell right into their trap. Then someone mentioned Pepsi and I was reminded of my own love for the good doctor. Pepper, that is. And you can’t have Oreos without milk! How else would they get all soggy and cool enough to fall apart in your mouth so you don’t even have to chew?
I passed out shortly after ingesting the sleeve of sweet sandwich cookies, only to awake a mere two hours later and wrestle my old friend insomnia. When I got up for the day, I suffered from cottonmouth and fatigue.
However… I had no further cravings today. Stuck to egg whites with tomatoes and spinach for breakfast. The last of the venison chili for lunch. Turky, bacon, and hardboiled eggs over lettuce for dinner. And likely I’ll have some Shakeology tonight for a snack.
I just needed to face the craving head on and get it out of my system. I am recommitted today and reminded once again of the very brief enjoyment such binges provide. It was fun while it lasted. We all felt like rebels together while we scarfed our cheesy slices of pie. There was much giggling at bedtime. Every now and then, you just gotta chill and lay back. So last night, we chilled.
Today, we’re back to Paleo and practice. And we’re still giggling, just for the record.