So I got my first round of results back.
As far as my CT scan, my doctor tells me – and I quote – my brain is “perfect.”
As if that’s news to us, am I right? (ba-dum-dum)
What I do have, and the reason I’ve been developing such a close relationship with my bed, is (and again I quote) “off the chart levels of Epstein-Barr” (see? even my diseases are AWESOME). I vaguely recall hearing this term somewhere, sometime…but the only mental image I can conjure is this:
I don’t think this has any bearing on my current situation, however. So I ask questions: What the hell is that? And what are you gonna do about it?
It is what I have: fatigue, confusion, insomnia, cold sweats, decreased alertness, earaches, trouble concentrating…
What was I talking about again?
(That’s a joke, right there, folks.)
And what is my doctor gonna do about it? Well, for the next two months, I’ll have the sheer joy of weekly B12 shots. Got my first one Friday morning and for half of a second thought, ‘Wow. Not even a pinch.’ Then I felt it hit my veins and well…ouch. Then again, I’m a total pansy when it comes to shots.
I also wanted to know what I can do about it. Turns out, I’m already doing a lot of it. Clean eating. Drinking lots of fluids and getting lots of rest. Keep taking my vitamins and listen to my body. So maybe I don’t always do that last one, but I am paying more attention now. For instance – when I’m training, and I feel that wall, I allow myself to walk even if it’s not a scheduled walking interval. It happened pretty frequently on today’s run, and while incredibly frustrating, this approach allowed me to log a tad over 5 miles and do so at a fairly good pace (under 11 minutes).
Let me be clear: this is not a moment of “I kinda don’t feel like running right now and I’m gonna use my new diagnosis as an excuse.” Haven’t we already established that this FitGal doesn’t do excuses? I am even more determined now that I was before (didn’t think it was possible, did ya?). I am even more aware of my body’s limits than I’ve ever been. It is a different level of fatigue and exhaustion that does not simply come from training. Imagine you are running through wet cement while also hauling gallon jugs of wet cement and breathing air of wet cement. Pretty close approximation.
Still…those moments are not continuous, nor are they often enough to make me bail on my run or the six months of training I’ve put in. This could be a perfect out for the upcoming marathon. Or it could be one of my proudest moments and greatest lessons for my children. I choose proud and great.
I’ve discussed the diagnosis with the kiddos and explained what Mama needs from them (mainly, quiet and unquestioning obedience – hold on…I’m laughing so hard I just choked on my own spit). I’ve also discussed my plan of action. As in, here’s what’s going on and here’s what I’m going to do about it. So they know that yeah, shit happens. But we’re all pretty capable of finding a shovel to get out of the steaming pile.
The frustration will still be there tomorrow, and the next day, and the next…It’ll be there until I can run and not worry that I will run out too far and have to call Hubby to bring me back because I just couldn’t make it. Until I am back outside with the fam playing catch and flying kites and pushing scooters. Because that’s me. The soft lump that just needs to sleep in the middle of a gorgeous spring afternoon – she’s a stranger and I don’t like her much.
By the way – this virus is COMMON. If you have the symptoms – GET CHECKED OUT. And for the love of fitness – EAT WELL, SLEEP WELL, and TREAT YOURSELF WELL. That’s how we’ll all GET WELL.
*For a more scientific explanation, check out these links: